yearn.

I want to forget.

I want to so badly.
I want closure.
I want to move on.

I want to be happy again.


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better than me.

top-heavy.

Overturned car at Lee and Burbank. Scarrrry stuff!







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just gonna stand there.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight

High off of love, drunk from my hate
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love her
The more I suffer, I suffocate
Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates
Me, she fuckin' hates me and I love it, Wait!
Where you going? I'm leaving you.
No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back

Here we go again, it's so insane
'Cause when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane, but when it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed, I snapped, "Who's that dude?"
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah, them chills, used to get 'em
Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em

It's the fate that took over, it controls you both
So they say, you're best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know you 'cause today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it "window pane"

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby, please come back, it wasn't you, Baby, it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,
I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I'm just gonna

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Robinhood Dr,Baton Rouge,United States

never again.

I'll never be the same.
I blame you - for so much.
My emotions, my anger, my hurt, my fear, my lack of trust.
You've hurt me the most - because I cared for you the most.
I don't know how I will be able to let go of it all.
You haunt me everyday, and its an active fight to try and erase you from my life.
My tears are not those of wishful thinking but those of hurt and pain.
You will never truly realize what you have done to me.
And I will never fully admit it to myself or others.
You can continue to live life thinking I have no soul, no heart.
That I'm this awful person that you have made yourself believe that I am.
I loved you.
All for nothing.

and we will dream.

Do you remember the nights
We'd stay up just laughing
Smiling for hours
At anything
Remember the nights
We drove around crazy in love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

Do you remember the nights
We made our way dreaming
Hoping of being
Someone big
We were so young then
We were too crazy
In love

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound
We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be

When the lights go out
We'll be safe and sound We'll take control of the world
Like it's all we have to hold on to
And we'll be a dream

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Riverbend Blvd,Baton Rouge,United States

my strength. my hope. my everything.

My love. My happiness. My heart. My world.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Robinhood Dr,Baton Rouge,United States

olivia.

My beautiful daughter. She is always so happy, content, and loving with me :) She is my world and I LOVE being a mommy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Robinhood Dr,Baton Rouge,United States

truth.

"And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Robinhood Dr,Baton Rouge,United States

but i have to, sorry.

Breathe - listennnn

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,
Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.
People are people,
And sometimes we change our minds.
But its killing me to see you go after all this time.

Music starts playin like the end of a sad movie,
Its the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.
Cause its tragedy and it'll only bring you down,
Now I don't know what to be without you around.

And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
But people are people,
And sometimes it doesnt work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
Youre the only thing I know like the back of my hand,
And I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Its two a.m.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know its not easy,
Easy for me.
Its two a.m.
Feelin like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this aint easy,
Easy for me.

And we know its never simple,
Never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

I cant,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to,
Breathe,
Without you,
But I have to.

Sorry.

head towards the BIG neon sign.

Recently, I have been taking a hard look at life and re-evaluating those that I have involved in mine. I have the tendency to surround myself with those that have issues. I have always sought out to "fix" people. I keep those around me that seem to have a negative outlook on life - that manipulate, who are vindictive, and selfish. Many times, they didn't embody these qualities in the beginning; it slowly crept out of the dark once they became comfortable. Recently, I have made the executive decision that I no longer have a need or want for these people in my life. These people will have their opinions about how I live my life, how I raise my daughter, and how my time is spent - to those people...live your own life. Spending your time and effort judging my character is worthless to you. You won't benefit from it and I can bet that it will only upset you because I won't change for you, nor will I base my decision making process on you. I live for God, my daughter, my family, and my friends. If you don't somehow fit under any of those categories - I'm holding the door wide open for you; you may exit now.

hoping to find something quicker than heaven.

She's got a bumper like a billboard
Covered in stickers of her favorite bands
She's got a handful of records that she turns to
When she needs to land
She's a saturday night parade through the streets
That all eyes come to see including me

She carries memories around like souvenirs down in her pockets
She should have let some go by now but can't seem to drop it
Says forgiveness ain't nothing but a lifeless tire on the shoulder of her soul
That never rolls

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
For as much as she runs she's still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of her days disappear
Just like Guinevere

She don't hold onto nothin' new for very long
Yeah she writes you in as just one more tale
and then you're gone
'Cause she once fell hard 'cause she dropped her guard
And no one gets to stay it's just too late

For as much as she stumbled she's runnin'
For as much as she runs she's still here
Always hoping to find something quicker than heaven
To make the damage of her days disappear
Just like Guinevere